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This prairie life

21 Dec

Wednesday was going kind of shitty. The weather was no good. It was looking like Paul and Carrie might be stuck in CO. Our Christmas schedule was shaping up to be hectic (read: less fun). I didn’t know about a meeting I was supposed to be running in a small town a couple of hours away (and therefore, I blew it)…I was feeling quite scroogy.

Then I read this article from the Corsica Globe (originally printed in the Gregory Times-Advocate). No doubt in my mind–it’s the funniest and most accurate description of life here in South Dakota that I’ve seen in my 29 2/3 years on the Blue Planet. I hope it brings you a smile (if you’ve ever lived in SD, it will). My favorites are marked with a πŸ™‚ …

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy on Life in South Dakota

If “vacation” to you means going shopping for the weekend in Rapid City or Sioux Falls (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You might live in South Dakota.

If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in South Dakota.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through eight inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that food will swim by, You might live in South Dakota.

If you’re proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in South Dakota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy,” You might live in South Dakota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If someone in a store offers you assistance, and you don’t work there, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If your Dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in South Dakota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in South Dakota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in South Dakota.

If you know how to correctly pronounce Pierre, Huron, Belle Fourche and Ipswich, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If you measure distance in hours, You might live in South Dakota.

If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in South Dakota.

If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If you often switch from “heat to A/C” in the same day and back again, You might live in South Dakota.

If you can drive 65 through two feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in South Dakota.

If you’ve installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in South Dakota.

If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school football game, You might live in South Dakota.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If there are seven empty cars, parked and running, on Main Street at any given time, You might live in South Dakota.

If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on deer season opener, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If you design your kids’ Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in South Dakota.

πŸ™‚ If driving is better in winter because the potholes are filled in with snow, You might live in South Dakota.

If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in South Dakota.

If you consider Murdo exotic, You might live in South Dakota.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood, You might live in South Dakota.

If the sunbelt to you means Rapid City, You might live in South Dakota.

If a brat is something you eat, You might live in South Dakota.

If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in South Dakota.

If you find zero degrees “a little chilly,” You might live in South Dakota.

If you actually understand these observations, and you pass them to all your South Dakota friends, You must live in South Dakota.

Thanks to Mary at the Corsica, SD Globe.

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Posted by on December 21, 2006 in funny, South Dakota

 

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