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Category Archives: Love

Choose My Sister

My little sister Sarah is waiting so beautifully. She and Jason, her hubby, are waiting to adopt one lucky little baby someday soon, and have already been loving that baby for a very long time.

So I made this video to try to help. It will be part of their webpage through the adoption service they are working with. Please help spread the word. I can’t imagine a more loving mother or a better home for that baby who will someday be my niece or nephew. If you know someone considering offering a baby for adoption, please share this link with them:

ChooseSarahAndJason.com.

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2011 in Family, Love

 

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Kisses

Big Sisters Make Every Day Special

Valentines 2011

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2011 in Family, Love

 

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Love Half Life

Today is the day when my time on Earth with Jaimie forever eclipses the time I spent without her.

Seventeen years ago, on October 9, we went on our first date. We drove in Old Yeller (the 1984 1982 Ford Crown Victoria that I and all three of my siblings drove with grace and honor throughout high school) to see Man Without a Face, a great Mel Gibson flick. The date is easy to remember, because it was on the same day as my Grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary, and the night before their big celebration. Because of the celebration, cousin Erin had just arrived in town from Colorado, so when we got back to town after the movie I asked Jaim if she’d mind if I picked Erin up. We had fun cruising Main Street, all in the front seat, with Erin in the middle. 🙂

It actually started earlier than that, on a late summer night in the back end of Shane Vogel’s Brat pickup. No, not like that. We were just cruising Main Street and around town, a bunch of teenagers. I walked into a set up–my former girlfriend’s friends coaxed Shane into getting me to town, and arranged a meet up. I wasn’t interested in anyone or thing other than that amazing quiet Cleveland girl in the Raiders jacket. Strangely, we didn’t know each other. Even though I went to school in a neighboring town, Montrose was always my hometown. I thought I knew everyone. But this mysterious girl–I was powerfully drawn to her and wanted to know everything about her. Like nothing I had experienced before, I noticed only her the entire night. I don’t think we even said ten words to each other, but I was hooked in a way I’d never known before or since. The following few weeks I had one mission–to get to know this girl. I asked my catechism teacher and dear friend Jackie about her, and from there she went into match-maker mode. Turns out she had an easy go of it–Jaim and I were drawn to each other. The rest is our history.

So, this year, on the 17th anniversary of that fateful first date, and at age 33, I’ve been in love with Jaimie more of my life than not. Like everyone’s, our relationship has been a journey with both sunshine and storm clouds, joyful moments and the kinds where you grab hands and brace for something scary. We’ve let our love lead us along a path we are building as we go, and we know each other’s hearts more deeply, and share one breath more happily, today more than ever. Love is a good thing, and I can’t imagine wanting to share mine with anyone more.

(Here’s the Tonna’s Cake I sent Jaim as part of our early celebration date last week.)

 
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Posted by on October 9, 2010 in Love

 

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Black Hills Adoration

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I’ve loved the Rockies of Colorado since forever. Feel so at home in the Northwoods of Minnesota. I’ve seen the amazing Yellowstone, and unbelievable stuff in Montana’s Rockies. Even explored the majestic Tetons in Jackson Hole. All breath taking awe.

And, I still can’t think of any place I’d rather explore right now more than the Black Hills of South Dakota. The mountains are smaller scale, but no less majestic and beautiful. There’s something more than natural beauty going on there. Something that holds your spirit and gives your soul breath. Even with all the gimmicky tourist stuff, it still touches your being like any sacred place.

The shots above were all taken on recent hikes in and near Custer State Park. Paha Sapa, I love and honor you.

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2010 in Love, Raves

 

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Pain and a Pen, Part 4: Barbed-wire Sunset

This is the fourth in a series of poems written at my Grandma’s dying bedside. Barbed Wire lives in frustration and, almost, resentment toward the universe for what seemed like an unnecessary dragging on of my Grandmother’s suffering. It was written late at night, just a couple hours before she died. She appeared to be totally unconscious by now, but still responded with a squeeze of the hand when people would talk to her or a new hand would hold hers.

She was on regular doses of morphine to control her pain, but the almost constant quiet, agonizing moans and clinching of her entire body told us it wasn’t doing the trick. Her blood oxygen saturation had dipped below 65%, and her breaths had fallen to 4 or 5 per minute for several hours. I was sad, helpless and begging her tired body to let go. We had all said our final goodbyes, prayed together around her, and had a good hard cry together as a family. And the agony drug on for her, though we knew th end was very near.

Barbed-wire Sunset

soft darkness,
warm chills,
a bead runs down my face
love will wipe my brow.

parched lips and sunken eyes
no voice left of mine,
turn me here to there
this stubborn stregnth of ox.

another dose
to dull the pain,
to find for me some rest.

each breath, a thousand pounds
upon my chest,
weight of this mortal life
I will to drop behind.

furrowed brow
determined to break the armor
of this resilient vessel,
death prevail in time.

who hears my cry
and opens now the gate?
who holds my hand
hour upon hour?

I go into the next
foggy and unknown
and beautiful.

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2009 in Family, Love, poetry, writing

 

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Love and Lollipops

lollipop33ff4I have a great big smile on my face.

I was snuggling with my four year old at bedtime tonight. As usual, I told her I “love her to all the stars in the universe.” Usually, her response is something about loving me to ten places and Colorado (the longest drive she’s ever been on). Tonight though, she got so excited and told me this,

“Daddy, last night I had a dream and there were lollipops everywhere. Really big lollipops and I could just keep licking them like this (slurpy licking sound) all day. I really love lollipops. Daddy, I love you more than lollipops.”

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2009 in Kids, Love

 

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Pain and a Pen, Part 2: Onward

This is the second installment in a series of poems written at my Grandma’s dying bedside. Onward was written shortly after Love Note, when I was alone with Grandma. It came from a place of really surrendering to true presence of being there with her, and felt as though she was writing it through me, for the family she loves so much. Her children (my aunts, uncles and mom)  later found it in the journal and selected it as the verse to print on the memorial program for her wake and funeral.

Onward.

gone, not lost,
for she lives on
in me, in you,
in the spirit of life.

every end
is a new beginning
we mourn, not for her
but for our own loss,
our love, our emptiness.

celebrate beloved memories
and tears.
death is life, another step
along a miraculous journey
find joy in letting go.

cherish and keep
each moment we shared
and hug the now,
love never ends.

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2009 in Family, Love, poetry, writing

 

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